


Cold Hard Cash

by roseyanon



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Family Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 23:18:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16796674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseyanon/pseuds/roseyanon
Summary: Sans makes a bet with Doggo that he can sleep out in the snow through a snowstorm. After getting a phone call from a worried Doggo, The Great Papyrus springs into action to help out his brother!





	Cold Hard Cash

~  
'hey bro, im gonna be out tonight and won't be back in the morning.'  
"BUT THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A PARTICULARLY BAD STORM TONIGHT!"  
'yeah i know, hence why i won't be back till tomorrow.'  
"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU GOING TO BE DOING? AND WHERE?"  
'that, my friend. is a secret. wink.'  
"OH MY GOD! DO NOT QUOTE ANCIENT BABY CARTOONS AT ME WHILE SAYING 'WINK' OUT LOUD!"  
~  
  
Papyrus doesn't like Sans being off who knows where doing god knows what, especially during a snow storm, but the fact of the matter is sometimes Sans is a bit like a cat and just likes to be needlessly secretive. True, if Papyrus put the pressure on, he could probably crack Sans,* but it would either just turn out to be an excuse for way too much poor word play about an utterly mundane task, or worse still, Sans taking his prodding as an excuse to not do whatever it is at all. And Papyrus would much rather Sans do things than not, no matter how annoying the thing he does is.  
  
*(Only metaphorically speaking of course. He COULD literally crack Sans, and quite easily at that, but Papyrus tries not to think about that too much.)  
  
Papyrus is doing some extra cleaning around the house (and it's NOT stress cleaning, thank you very much,) when he gets interrupted by a phone call. Caught off guard due to the hour, he almost isn't able to answer by the second ring! Only almost of course, after all he IS The Great Papyrus.  
  
"DOGGO! WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D BE AWAKE AT THIS HOUR!"  
'Er… hey Papyrus. Listen, this may sound strange, but is Sans there?'  
  
Papyrus does his best to not noticeably wilt.  
  
(Of course Doggo wasn't calling to talk to him. Of course he would rather talk to Sans than Papyrus. Typical really. Shouldn't be such a disappointment. Even if it is Doggo, who seemed to not even really like Sans all that much. Papyrus thought they had been becoming friends too… THIS JUST MEANS HE MUST TRY HARDER!)  
  
"NO, HE IS NOT. IF YOU WANTED TO SPEAK WITH SANS THOUGH, I CAN PROVIDE HIS NUMBER FOR YOU!"  
  
There's a muttering of under-the-breath cursing that manages to be perfectly audible, and Papyrus feels pretty sure that Doggo is just going to hang up without explaining why in the blue blazes he called at an hour so late it's practically the next day. To his surprise though, that isn't what happens.  
  
"Okay… crud. Then in that case I got some bad news. I… kinda had made a bet with your bro. And he was supposed to call me like half an hour ago to confirm he'd done it. Which he hasn't. And when I call him it rings for ages before going to voicemail-"  
"WHERE WAS HE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS BET OF YOURS?"  
  
He feels slightly bad about interrupting Doggo, but Papyrus has questions, many of them in fact. (What type of bet are we talking here? Was there money on the line? Did you at all consider Sans's more fragile health when making this bet? Because lord knows Sans wasn't going to.) But right now finding out where Sans might be takes top priority. He HOPES that Doggo is going to say 'Waterfall,' or the capital. Hell, maybe even Hotland, personal disdain for that dreadful area aside. But he's got a feeling in his bones, and so is completely unsurprised when Doggo says, "… the forest."  
  
Papyrus looks out his living room window to the nearly white-out conditions, and takes a deep, slow, _calming_ breath, before heading up to his room to pack up anything he might need for the search that is about to commence. "I SEE. ANYWHERE SPECIFIC IN THE FOREST? SNOWDIN WOODS IS QUITE LARGE, AND SANS IS RATHER SMALL, BOTH THINGS YOU NO DOUBT KNOW." Doggo seems a tad nervous when he mutters, "No… we hadn't specified. The bet was just that he couldn't stay out in the woods overnight, I thought for SURE he would have called it quits…!"  
  
Securing the last of his gear safe inside his inventory, Papyrus smiles ruefully. "DON'T FEEL TOO BADLY DOGGO; YOU AREN'T THE FIRST ONE TO UNDERESTIMATE HOW STUBBORN MY BROTHER CAN BE. THANK YOU FOR PHONING ME, I WILL BE SURE TO LET YOU KNOW ONCE I'VE FOUND HIM." Ending the call, Papyrus opens the front door, only for the gesture to turn into a more dramatic fling type of deal from the blast of wind and snow. Frowning, he shoves his way through the mess, making sure the door is shut securely behind him.  
  
-  
  
It really is an impressive storm, all howling wind and just enough visibility to see the havoc it's wreaking on the trees. Papyrus is almost impressed enough that he doesn't mind going out into it, if it weren't for the _reason_ he was having slog through in the first place. In theory, Sans is most likely fine. His brother is (and isn't) many things, and reckless about his limits is one that Sans very much _isn't_. In practice though, life is full of twists and turns that could take anyone by surprise. And judging by the fact that Sans hadn't just taken a shortcut home, one such surprise may have tripped him up.  
  
Unless of course the issue is that Sans fell asleep. That wouldn't be much of a surprise.  
  
But still very unfortunate if so! As a less fleshy sort of monster, things like extreme temperature have to be quite dire before a skeleton starts to get bothered by it. That being said, having ice grow in the joints can be very serious indeed. Especially if said skeleton decided to fall asleep somewhere no one can find him and the ice is allowed to grow slowly pushing the bones away from each other until-!!!  
  
Papyrus gives calling one more try, just on the off hand chance the last two attempts were a fluke. If he could just get the call to connect, maybe he'd be able to spot a landmark near Sans to find him by, even if Sans isn't able to speak for some reason! Sadly third time is not the charm, and he hangs up before he has to hear that damn whoopee cushion go off again; his brother's voice mail message is ridiculous. Not to mention his mail box is full.  
  
(He had bothered Sans about that once, but Sans had claimed that he liked being able to listen to the messages people left latter. Finding that mostly understandable, if inconvenient for future message leavers, Papyrus had then bothered him about the mailbox in front of their house. Sans had pretended to fall asleep, rolled behind the couch, and then vanished his way down to Grillby's. Which meant Sans didn't have any real reason for that, sentimental or otherwise, and thus Papyrus should continue to give him grief over it. Which he did and does. Loudly. Much like most things Papyrus does!)  
  
As he marches down the path through the woods, Papyrus calls out for his brother. Not receiving an answer back gets… well, depressing after a bit. But he carries on, on the off hand chance Sans actually hears him. The plan currently is to begin the search in earnest starting from the most likely place to find him napping, and then sweep out from that point. But said 'most likely spot' is, of course, clear on the other side of the forest. (Because being annoying is Sans's top talent, even when unintentional.) It seems a shame to not keep a metaphorical eye and ear out while passing through though. Who knows, maybe Sans is at one of his less-likely nap spots. If so, he _should_ be able to hear Papyrus calling for him…! Of course, the wind is rather loud, but Papyrus believes in himself, and if he has to yell louder than mother nature herself then gosh golly that's just what he's going to do.  
  
His calling is in vain though, as he reaches Sans's sentry station with nary a sign of the lazybones. Technically the outpost is nap spot number two, but it seems silly to not peak in when he's right next to it. While Papyrus does spot Sans's entire hotdog grilling set up, a couple of their car magazines, and some extra blankets, the area is sadly completely bereft of his brother. The blankets are somewhat reassuring, if only because it suggests Sans at least somewhat took this weather seriously, enough to at least bring something extra to keep warm with. But on the other hand it's also un-assuring because Sans clearly didn't bring them with him where ever he ended up setting down for the night.  
  
(And if he spends a few extra seconds looking very *very* closely through the blankets to be sure it's free of any dust, well. No one has to know.)  
  
Mentally declaring this sentry station sans a skeleton, (and out loud groaning at himself even as he thinks it,) Papyrus stomps further up the path, to nap spot number one.  
  
The large door embedded in the cavern wall.  
  
As stated before, Sans has a strange fascination with pointless secrecy; his visits to the door were one such 'secret.' Oh sure, Sans knows that Papyrus knows about the door, after all he had caught Sans napping there many a time, hence why it's nap spot number one! The secret however, was that Sans thought he had convinced Papyrus that he only goes there to practice his knock-knock jokes.  
  
Papyrus knows that is not the case.  
  
His brother is a pretty simple monster to please. Greasy food? Serve it up, can't get enough. Bad jokes? Makes his day, no doubt about that. But what _really_ puts that sparkle in his sockets, is when Sans can share either of the two previous with a friend.  
  
And so Papyrus is absolutely certain that Sans has somehow managed to befriend someone through that impossible to open door.  
  
Sometimes Papyrus wonders how long Sans had sat outside the door, rattling off joke after joke, before whoever is on the other side responded. He wouldn't be surprised if it was hours upon hours, over multiple days, slacking off when he should have been manning his station! But with how happy speaking with this Door Person seems to make Sans… Papyrus is willing to let it slide for now. Sans would keep slacking off regardless, and it appears harmless. (That and whoever it was seems almost as capable of cheering up Sans as Papyrus himself, which is nothing to scoff at.)  
  
This close to the cavern wall, the storm isn't quite so severe, but Papyrus still has to make it past the gate he had built, and then over halfway there past that before he can even start to see the end ahead. He's pretty sure he can spy what looks like a snow poff at the base of the door. A very Sans shaped and sized snow poff.  
  
Papyrus books it the rest of the way down the path and is carefully digging out his brother in a matter of seconds. (Specifically two.) Sans seems to be ok, health actually slightly buffed from his sleeping, but he isn't waking up even with Papyrus scolding him at top volume.  
  
"I WANT TO SAY THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS, BUT SOMEHOW IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT HAD HAPPENED. YOU GOT TOO COMFORTABLE TELLING KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES AND INSTEAD OF WALKING 300 FEET TO YOUR SENTRY STATION, WHICH YOU ACTUALLY HAD STOCKED UP WITH BLANKETS, WARM FOOD, AND EVEN ENGAGING READING MATERIAL TO HELP YOU STAY AWAKE, YOU JUST FELL ASLEEP IN THE SNOW LIKE SOME KIND OF BABYBONES!" Once fully excavated, Papyrus can see that Sans is not only asleep, but has indeed frozen over. Making certain to properly support all of his brother's limbs, he takes off back towards home, ignoring a few laws of physics to make good time. (It's not something that he wants to make a habit of like Sans does, but when Papyrus has somewhere he _needs_ to be, then nine times out of ten he's already there.)  
  
Once safely back inside, Papyrus wastes no time in getting Sans comfortable on the couch. There are several hot water bottles that he swaddles up with Sans, and once that's done he heads into the kitchen to heat up some canned tomato soup. However as he's walking away from the couch he hears a quiet voice.  
  
"actually it's closer to 311."  
  
Papyrus pivots on the spot, immediately stamping a foot. "WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK SANS I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH GOLD IT WAS, NO MORE BETS THAT ARE GOING TO WORRY ME LIKE THAT!"  
"ok."  
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW UPSET I WAS?! DOGGO CALLS WHEN NORMALLY THE ONLY PERSON IN THE UNDERGROUND THAT'S AWAKE IS **ME** , AND IT'S TO SAY YOU'VE GONE GALLIVANTING OFF INTO THE FOREST, _DURING A BAD STORM_ , AND ALL FOR SOME STUPID BET!"  
"sorry."  
"YOU'RE DARN RIGHT YOU'RE SORRY! NOW STAY THERE, _DO NOT MOVE_ , WHILE I CALL DOGGO TO LET HIM KNOW ALL IS WELL."  
"ok."  
  
Papyrus lets out one final huff before continuing into the kitchen and completing his original soup plan with one hand and dialing up Doggo with the other. The phone rings just once before there's a sharp nervous bark of greeting from the other end.  
"BARK! Hey did you find him? Are you two ok??!"  
"GOOD EVENING DOGGO! ALTHOUGH IT'S BASICALLY MORNING BY NOW. YES I FOUND THE BONEHEAD, AND WE'RE BOTH OK! SANS IS A LITTLE FROZEN OVER, BUT I THINK AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T TRY TO HIDE IN HIS ROOM BEFORE HE OUGHT TO, HE WILL BE JUST FINE." Doggo let's out a sigh of relief, practically falling back onto the bed he had been pacing around. "Alright then. Man, you're fast as heck Papyrus. I knew if anyone could find Sans in a jiffy, it was you!" Papyrus puffed up with the praise of a job well done. "WHY THANK YOU DOGGO! YOUR TRUST WAS WELL PLACED. I WILL LET YOU GO GET WHAT SLEEP YOU CAN NOW, SEE YOU TOMORROW- ER, LATTER TODAY?" Doggo softly laughed, "Yeah, see you latter Papyrus. And tell Sans I'm counting this as me winning the bet!"  
"I WILL. GOOD NIGHT."  
"'Night."  
  
A successful conversation haven taken place, Papyrus cheerfully stirs the soup to avoid any burning. (While he himself likes a little bit of burnt chunks in his tomato soup, Sans likes it better when the soup is completely liquid. There's just no accounting for taste sometimes!) While he stirs he keeps a careful 'ear' out for any suspicious shuffling from the living room. It's completely silent, which means either Sans is still there but also still awake, or he somehow snuck upstairs to his room. Papyrus sighs softly, feeling pretty sure which one has taken place.  
  
After bowling up some soup, he turns around and is pleasantly surprised to see Sans is actually still right there on the couch, but also wide awake for once and looking at Papyrus with what looks to be an unintentional 'kicked puppy' type of expression. As soon as Papyrus is sitting next to him on the couch, soup set down nearby, Sans quietly says, "really though; 'm sorry bro. it should've been no big deal, and instead i was a massive hassle for you."  
"I WOULDN'T SAY THAT THE 'HASSLE' WAS YOU SPECIFICALLY SANS. THE BET, THE WEATHER, THOSE WERE A HASSLE. I'M JUST GLAD THAT YOU'RE OK. ER- YOU ARE OK, RIGHT? YOUR HP WAS DOING WELL, BUT I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU GET ACHES ANYWAY."  
"yeah, i'm ok. better than earlier anyway."  
"CAN I FEED YOU THE SOUP?"  
"… ok."  
  
The ice has been more or less completely melted by now, and they both know it. But it's an excuse to comfort and be comforted by each other. As they work through the tomato soup, Papyrus tells Sans about the end of his day that was missed out on and what he has planned for today. At first for the most part Sans just nods along or interjects with a 'yup' here and there. By the time they're halfway through he's feeling more like himself and making a few puns here and there. Nothing too bad, but enough to make Papyrus roll his eyes. ("it's really impressive you can do that bro. what with us not having eyes." "IT WAS VITAL I MASTER THE ART OF EYE ROLLING LIVING WITH YOU BROTHER.")  
  
There's still several spoonfuls worth of soup left, but Sans has begun borderline sleeping while sitting up about three quips ago. When Papyrus sets the bowl back down, Sans is already leaning toward his brother, ready to fully fall asleep.  
"NYEH. ALRIGHT SANS, I'LL PUT YOU TO BED NOW. BUT DON'T THINK THIS MEANS YOU'LL BE GETTING OUT OF WORK TOMORROW!"  
"ok…"  
"OH, AND DOGGO SAYS HE WILL BE EXPECTING YOU TO PAY UP FOR THE BET."  
  
Sans actually sits up a little at that, scoffing. "fat chance. bet was staying in the forest till midnight in that storm. i did it, doggo owes _me_ money." Sans yawns, and then slumps back onto Papyrus. "though i think you should get the money anyway, since you got dragged into it."  
"AN EXCELLENT IDEA BROTHER!"  
"cool. then in that case i'll leave the collecting up to you."  
"NYEH!"  
"hehe…"  
  
Setting Sans on his (frankly disaster of a) bed, Papyrus watches fondly for a moment as his brother worms his way over to the balled up sheets and curls around it before completely passing out. Turning around, he notices that the annoying dog is in the trash tornado _again_ , but decides this time to just let it be. Papyrus might not need sleep, but there are other things he needs to be doing! And chasing around little dogs at one in the morning isn't one of them. (That doesn't happen till 8AM!)  
  
"GOOD NIGHT SANS, LOVE YOU.'  
"z z z…"  
  
Papyrus shuts the door.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually managed to write this over the course of a long day at work! (13.5 hours and still here haha)
> 
> part of the initial idea that inspired this was how sans seems like the kinda guy who would eat anything for a bet, but (in an example someone else had written but i cant remember who,) is also the sort to ask "hey can you give me 1G?" and then tossing it off a cliff because he's a little troll of a man. that last aspect didn't really end up here, but maybe some story in the future will :)
> 
> if anyone has any tag suggestions, let me know. otherwise, thank you for reading! ☆


End file.
